The inability to maintain a relationship

I wrote a long an informed essay about why the scriptwriters of Eastenders can't allow two characters to hold down a relationship for more than a month unless they write them out of the script. However my browser crashed, so I'm going to leave it at this.

If the scriptwriters of Eastenders don't get Cat and Alfie back together really soon, I'm going to track them down and inflict various amounts of pain on them all.